We have learned more about the brain in the last 15-20 years than in all previous years combined! Technology now allows us to scan and study the brain in a way most of us never imagined (luckily a few people imagined it, and then made it possible...thanks!), and this "new" brain research has opened up the realm of understanding around addiction. What's interesting is that very similar things are going on in the brain of someone who has panic attacks, OCD, addiction to drugs, pornography, etc. Now, this isn't to say that each drug is alike. For example, there are different consequences (physical, social, etc.) of addiction to anxiety vs. addiction to alcohol. Nevertheless, in addiction the brain is using each drug for a similar purpose. Our coping mechanisms (including addictions) are strategies used to deal with suffering, discomfort, fear, abandonment and pain.
Much of what happens when the cravings for our drug, or for our coping mechanisms, pop up is subconscious and pre-conscious. Clients will sometimes come in and say something like, "I had a lapse this last week," or "I experienced some days of depression." They may then describe their confusion..."I don't know what happened. It was a good day and then suddenly"....whatever they struggle with hit them. Clients begin to experience greater healing as they increase their awareness of what's going on underneath the cravings, triggers, and emotional overwhelm (these things don't come from nowhere).
While our addictions, including our addictions to emotions, change our brain and create "sickness" (meaning our physcial brain can't function the same way it would if it were healthy) there is hope for change and healing and joy. The brain is considered neuroplastic which means it can change. And it does. I have people say to me things like, "you work with addictions? That must be hard, I hear there's not much change in that line of work." Wrong! I see change in my office everyday. Healing the brain is not a fast fix experience, but it is one of the most rewarding, joyful, sacred experiences we each can go through in our life.
3 comments:
Wow! I love this. I love your passion for the work you do. What a new idea, addiction to emotions. I never thought of it that way. So do some people feel certain emotions like resentment, depression etc simply because they are addicted to those emotions for some reason or another? A lady I visit teach is totally consumed with how much she hates her job and her life in general. I have no idea how I can help her. Just being a listening ear for her to complain about things over and over and over never seems to be helpful in helping her find solutions or peace. Any ideas?
Yes, it's pretty interesting...and helpful to understand when you're working on healing. In response to your first question (So do some people feel certain emotions like resentment, depression etc simply because they are addicted to those emotions for some reason or another?)the answer is yes. I know this logically doesn't make much sense, but what we find is that the brain goes there (and perceives the world in such a way) as to maintain distorted beliefs that create depression, anxiety,anger etc. Our brain does this to protect us from something that appears to be more threatening even then the thoughts revolving around the depression, anxiety, anger, etc. This is mostly a subconscious/preconscious experience, and it takes some work to begin bringing what is underneath the conscious awareness into conscious awareness. From the work I've done, it appears that when you get to the deepest layers, the emotional addiction (or emotional coping mechanisms) are to keep from facing the grief over an attachment loss (whether with oneself or another). So, as to being helpful. Whether with yourself or this woman. The first step is recognition. So simply recognizing "I (she) am feeling depressed right now." The second step is to ACCEPT the emotion. That doesn't mean to like it, or just resign to it. But simply to accept that right now, right here this is what I feel. The practice is to do this without judgement. I often use the phrase "no wonder." "No wonder I'm (she's) feeling depressed or sad right now, because..." From here we begin to investigate. Get more info. What are you (or is she) believing about herself right now. What other emotions are presents...Okay, the investigation step is a little complicated, so I'll take some time in the near future to explain this more. I've been doing this mindfulness work for multiple years now and I still have a hard time doing this for myself. Sometimes I need another healer to help me with it because our own beliefs are so strongly held that it's difficult to adjust to new, and more true, truths. So keep a look out for a post on investigation here in the next week or so. Hope this is somewhat helpful :)
So, as I've thought about it. I'm not sure how to give a condensed version of investigation. I could write something out, but it's complex emough that I feel like the best way (and really the only way) to learn it is to read a more in-depth writing on it and then experience it (whether with a therapist who does this kind of work or someone else who can do meditation/mindfulness work, including investigation). "The Wise Heart" by Jack Kornfield is a good book that talks in-depth about the theories of this kind of work. so, I've got a new suggestion for you: After you serve as a listening ear say something like,"it sounds like you're carrying a huge amount right now...in fact, it sounds like it's bigger than you (which it probably is for her). I know that when there's so much we're carrying it's easy to get stuck. I'd be happy to help you find a good counselor, or suggest a book that may be helpful. The book I would suggest for this woman is "A Mindful Way Through Depression." by Williams, Kabat-Zinn and there are two more authors also. If there aren't any therapists in the area she feels comfortable with I'm happy to meet with her via Skype. I've had quite a few clients out-of-state that I do sessions with that way.
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