The brain is estimated to have approximately 100 billion neurons. These neurons form a neuronet (kind of like a web), where neurons are interconnected and attach to one another. The basic idea is that neurons that fire together, wire together.
According to neuropsychologist, Dr. Rick Hansen, "The number of possible combinations of 100 billion neurons firing or not is approximately 10 to the millioneth power, or 1 followed by a million zeros, in principle; this is the number of possible states of your brain. To put this quantity in perspective, the number of atoms in the universe is estimated to be "only" about 10 to the eightieth power." Ok, so I don't know if this strikes you, if not re-read, if still not then re-read it after you've read the rest of this post, if still not then come back one day and read again and see if connects more for you. Understanding of this seems to come in layers as we practice increasing our awareness of the experiencing of new brain states, including learning new ideas, thinking new thoughts, visualizing new images, and feeling new emotions. The possibilities and potential for what we can experience is mind boggling, in fact, the possibilities are more numerous than are the atoms in the universe!!
I spoke to some junior high students yesterday about the brain and change. It got me thinking about the power of the brain, and the possibility of change. One of the students asked, "Someone once told me that we use only 10% of our brain, is that true?" I have no idea what percentage of our brain we "use," but one thing that brain science tells us (as can be seen in the quote above) is that we have only tapped into a very small percentage of our brain's power.
So, what does this mean for change? The brain is considered "neuroplastic" which means it can change. Neurons that no longer fire together, no longer wire together. They break their long term relationship. While changing a brain that has become "hard wired" may mean a fair amount of effort, it can be done. We can break old connections and access new brain states, allowing us to then create new neuro pathways. If you imagine standing at the top of a hill and day after day, week after week pouring buckets of water down the hill in the same spot it would begin to form a rut in the ground. This is similar to how it works in the brain for most of us. We follow the same neuro pathways day after day, in fact, they become so ingrained we often believe they are our identity. The connection of the pathway gets stronger and stronger (or in the water metaphor the rut gets deeper and deeper).
While these connections become strong, they can still be broken and new pathways formed. Everytime we interrupt the "old" thought, emotional, or behavioral pattern we begin to break old connections. There are a variety of things that can help us to do this, and in the beginning it can be quite tricky as we may not even be aware that what we've always assumed to be, may not actually be so. When this happens we don't even know that there's a neural pathway to be interrupted, what we do know is we feel stuck. For this reason it is invaluable to reach out to the resources that can help us. For me and my clients the resources have included:
- readings
- therapy/healing work
- meditation
- prayer
- connection with certain things such as nature, art, dance, music, etc.
- trusted friends, family, mentors, religious leaders & teachers (they need to be emotionally safe connections, though the unsafe ones can still be helpful in our learning)
- and so on...the list is not inclusive but includes some of the most common resources.
May you continue to access new experiences, greater freedom, and less stuckness in your quest to maximize your brain potential!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Betrayal of the Authentic Self
"The need to be normal is the predominant anxiety disorder in modern life." -Thomas Moore
I had a client today who expressed his experience in our last therapy session. He explained that he had been describing something to me that he very much wanted me to understand. He had felt that I wasn't understanding and so he began to get frustrated, panick, and raise his voice. He explained, (paraphrased) "when I realized I was reacting this way, I thought that this is how I usually respond when I feel misunderstood. At this point I began to feel badly about myself, and I felt shame and embarassment the rest of the session."
As we explored the patterns and the process of this experience, he talked about what it was like for him to feel misunderstood. He illustrated with a visual: "When I feel misunderstood it is as if there is a mass of people coming towards me. As they get to where I am I begin to try to keep up with them, to keep their pace. I fear that if I don't, they will run me over." "So the fear is death, or at least getting a good squash?" I questioned. "I guess so," he replied, "and then I feel that my true self is back where it originally stood, now an empty shell and there's nothing within it to hold it together."
Feeling misunderstood is not what creates the great distress. Abandoning our truth, our authentic self (or at least doubting our truth or our ability to know our truth) is the great betrayal, and when it happens we are left with the feeling of an empty shell, in which pain we often experience doubts and blame which are frequently turned inward (this is where we begin to experience the shame).
Being true to ourself when we feel misunderstood is difficult in a world that so rarely is emotionally safe. If we do express that we feel misunderstood, we are often met with defensiveness, annoyance, frustration, etc. of another. This is hugely frightening and invalidating, and is one of the reasons I so appreciated my client's visual (the fear of getting RUN OVER by the mass). So...as we continue to practice being true to our intuition, our gut, the spirit, our higher power, may we first accept the reasons we often abandon our truth. In doing this, we can offer ourselves understanding: "no wonder I sometimes abandon my truth...there is a fear of emotional death or at least being emotionally injured."
I studied business, marketing for my first college degree. When I finished school I began working. I ended up having seven jobs my first year out of college. I'd get a job...feel disconnected from my work and quit, then get another. People in my life began to worry about me, I began to worry about me. The messages I received (from others and my own mind) were things like:
-"you know, work's just work. You can't expect it to be perfect."
-"you've got the personality for this, if you quit you're not going to find something you like more."
-"maybe the problem is that you like to play too much."
...and so on. I felt the strong sense to continue searching for my line of work was misunderstood (even by my own self). Most of the messages reflected the idea that something was "wrong" with me, that feeling disconnected from my work, and the push to continue searching had to do with some problem, or defect, I had. and, for a good year I bought into these messages to a large degree. Often feeling self-doubt, and wondering what was wrong with me.
Discerning between our personal truths and mission, and our "mortal" desires- including the desire to be understood and normal (or abnormal...same plane, different angle), which are manifested in unbridled emotions and behaviors that don't connect us with our higher self, is a lifelong practice for most of us. As we practice attunement with our physical & emotional bodies we can better read the messages coming from our authentic self, allowing us greater courage to give up the need to be normal (to whatever we are accultured to), and instead rest within greater connectedness to our original self.
Best wishes to us all in our practicing!
I had a client today who expressed his experience in our last therapy session. He explained that he had been describing something to me that he very much wanted me to understand. He had felt that I wasn't understanding and so he began to get frustrated, panick, and raise his voice. He explained, (paraphrased) "when I realized I was reacting this way, I thought that this is how I usually respond when I feel misunderstood. At this point I began to feel badly about myself, and I felt shame and embarassment the rest of the session."
As we explored the patterns and the process of this experience, he talked about what it was like for him to feel misunderstood. He illustrated with a visual: "When I feel misunderstood it is as if there is a mass of people coming towards me. As they get to where I am I begin to try to keep up with them, to keep their pace. I fear that if I don't, they will run me over." "So the fear is death, or at least getting a good squash?" I questioned. "I guess so," he replied, "and then I feel that my true self is back where it originally stood, now an empty shell and there's nothing within it to hold it together."
Feeling misunderstood is not what creates the great distress. Abandoning our truth, our authentic self (or at least doubting our truth or our ability to know our truth) is the great betrayal, and when it happens we are left with the feeling of an empty shell, in which pain we often experience doubts and blame which are frequently turned inward (this is where we begin to experience the shame).
Being true to ourself when we feel misunderstood is difficult in a world that so rarely is emotionally safe. If we do express that we feel misunderstood, we are often met with defensiveness, annoyance, frustration, etc. of another. This is hugely frightening and invalidating, and is one of the reasons I so appreciated my client's visual (the fear of getting RUN OVER by the mass). So...as we continue to practice being true to our intuition, our gut, the spirit, our higher power, may we first accept the reasons we often abandon our truth. In doing this, we can offer ourselves understanding: "no wonder I sometimes abandon my truth...there is a fear of emotional death or at least being emotionally injured."
I studied business, marketing for my first college degree. When I finished school I began working. I ended up having seven jobs my first year out of college. I'd get a job...feel disconnected from my work and quit, then get another. People in my life began to worry about me, I began to worry about me. The messages I received (from others and my own mind) were things like:
-"you know, work's just work. You can't expect it to be perfect."
-"you've got the personality for this, if you quit you're not going to find something you like more."
-"maybe the problem is that you like to play too much."
...and so on. I felt the strong sense to continue searching for my line of work was misunderstood (even by my own self). Most of the messages reflected the idea that something was "wrong" with me, that feeling disconnected from my work, and the push to continue searching had to do with some problem, or defect, I had. and, for a good year I bought into these messages to a large degree. Often feeling self-doubt, and wondering what was wrong with me.
Discerning between our personal truths and mission, and our "mortal" desires- including the desire to be understood and normal (or abnormal...same plane, different angle), which are manifested in unbridled emotions and behaviors that don't connect us with our higher self, is a lifelong practice for most of us. As we practice attunement with our physical & emotional bodies we can better read the messages coming from our authentic self, allowing us greater courage to give up the need to be normal (to whatever we are accultured to), and instead rest within greater connectedness to our original self.
Best wishes to us all in our practicing!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Who We Are.
According to Buddhist psychology, pain is inevitable. While inhabiting a human body we will experience a continuous ebb & flow of pleasure & pain, gain & loss. It is a part of our world experience. Suffering on the other hand is different from pain (suffering is our reaction to the inevitable pain). The thought continues that the cause of suffering is grasping (more on this one day). Grasping gives birth to aversion and delusion, and from these arise all the other unhealthy states such as jealousy, anxiety, hatred, addiction, depression, shamelessness, etc. So (I'm trying to connect this, but hope it's not getting too confusing...read on...).
There are a variety of delusions we get stuck in, but the deepest delusion of all is forgetting who we ARE (not who we want to be or where we want to go, but who we ALREADY ARE).
Parley P. Pratt said, "[Man] sees in part, and he knows in part; but never while tabernacled in mortal flesh will he fully awaken to the intelligence of his former estate. It surpasses his comprehension, is unspeakable and even unlawful to be uttered."
As we awaken (slowly and in layers) to our true identity we find it to be familiar. When we touch & accept the truths of who we are we feel the body vibrate in connection with it. Here are some of the descriptions my clients (my fellow travelers) use when they have a moment of awakening to their truth (the core of their reality, under the chaos, pain, pride...etc)
-an opening in my chest
-like someone just turned the light on in my mind
-warmth moving up and down the body
-tingling
-I feel like crying
-tension just left my body
How does your body respond when you have a moment of remembering. Remembering your goodness, your compassionate dreams & desires, your love of self or others?
There are a variety of delusions we get stuck in, but the deepest delusion of all is forgetting who we ARE (not who we want to be or where we want to go, but who we ALREADY ARE).
Parley P. Pratt said, "[Man] sees in part, and he knows in part; but never while tabernacled in mortal flesh will he fully awaken to the intelligence of his former estate. It surpasses his comprehension, is unspeakable and even unlawful to be uttered."
As we awaken (slowly and in layers) to our true identity we find it to be familiar. When we touch & accept the truths of who we are we feel the body vibrate in connection with it. Here are some of the descriptions my clients (my fellow travelers) use when they have a moment of awakening to their truth (the core of their reality, under the chaos, pain, pride...etc)
-an opening in my chest
-like someone just turned the light on in my mind
-warmth moving up and down the body
-tingling
-I feel like crying
-tension just left my body
How does your body respond when you have a moment of remembering. Remembering your goodness, your compassionate dreams & desires, your love of self or others?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Difference Between Shame & Guilt
In our society we tend to use these words interchangeably, and perhaps it doesn't matter the words we decide to use. But, it is hugely important to understand the difference between the two types of experiences we may feel after committing an offense (hurting ourself or another/others). Here are the definitions of shame and guilt from the dictionary.com
Guilt:
1. the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.
2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
3. conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc
Shame:
1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
2. disgrace; ignominy:
3. a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: –verb (used with object)
4. to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.
5. to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.
6. to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.
—Idioms
7. for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!
My interpretation & summary of these two words:
Guilt is the recognition of harm our destructive actions, thoughts, etc. created. It is taking responsibility for which part is ours (this alone can take some work to figure out). Guilt can motivate us to make recompense for our wrongs (to whatever level is possible). Shame on the other hand is tying our identity into those actions as though we are our actions or behaviors.
Shame is a natural, normal, mortal response when we recognize or choose to do something that is harmful or destructive. However, carrying shame (rather than awareness of it, checking it, and releasing it) is the great fuel that feeds our addictions and coping mechanisms. It is the great fuel to stuckness. It literally drives any addiction (and my belief is that at some point in our lives we all deal with addictions-something we habitually go to in order to cope, our addictions may include reactions & secondary emotions (depression, anger, etc.). Shame comes from a place of untruth, and when we carry it we are carrying something untrue about ourselves or another, because the truth is...we are not our behaviors (watch for an upcoming post on identity).
I was out hiking with a friend last week and we were discussing something that was distressful for her. Through exploration and processing, we got down to the deeper levels and found where the shame was being held. At the end of the conversation she said, "wow, that's a tough idea to get your head around. I feel like it could take some work and time to really understand that." and she was so right! We carry shame in ways we don't even realize. It has often become part of our constructs and the way we see ourselves and the world around us. I've realized in my own journey that shame is stripped off in layers. It takes time, work, awareness, and usually the help of someone else (at least it has in my life). I have people in my life that I can call when I become aware of a piece of shame that I don't know what to do with. I may cognitively know that shame comes from an untrue place, but often I don't know how to "feel" differently about it.
People are often carry shame with the thought that it will help motivate them, but this also is an untruth. Shame is NEVER motivating, it is paralyzing!! Healthy, true guilt and taking responsibility can be helpful, but the shame part, no, never helpful! This part of our mortal journey (finding and stripping away shame, while holding more truth about our identity) is one of the most difficult, as well as one of the most rewarding. Everytime we find and are able to release some degree of shame we are filled with greater truth and greater light.
Guilt:
1. the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.
2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
3. conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc
Shame:
1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
2. disgrace; ignominy:
3. a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: –verb (used with object)
4. to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.
5. to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.
6. to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.
—Idioms
7. for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!
My interpretation & summary of these two words:
Guilt is the recognition of harm our destructive actions, thoughts, etc. created. It is taking responsibility for which part is ours (this alone can take some work to figure out). Guilt can motivate us to make recompense for our wrongs (to whatever level is possible). Shame on the other hand is tying our identity into those actions as though we are our actions or behaviors.
Shame is a natural, normal, mortal response when we recognize or choose to do something that is harmful or destructive. However, carrying shame (rather than awareness of it, checking it, and releasing it) is the great fuel that feeds our addictions and coping mechanisms. It is the great fuel to stuckness. It literally drives any addiction (and my belief is that at some point in our lives we all deal with addictions-something we habitually go to in order to cope, our addictions may include reactions & secondary emotions (depression, anger, etc.). Shame comes from a place of untruth, and when we carry it we are carrying something untrue about ourselves or another, because the truth is...we are not our behaviors (watch for an upcoming post on identity).
I was out hiking with a friend last week and we were discussing something that was distressful for her. Through exploration and processing, we got down to the deeper levels and found where the shame was being held. At the end of the conversation she said, "wow, that's a tough idea to get your head around. I feel like it could take some work and time to really understand that." and she was so right! We carry shame in ways we don't even realize. It has often become part of our constructs and the way we see ourselves and the world around us. I've realized in my own journey that shame is stripped off in layers. It takes time, work, awareness, and usually the help of someone else (at least it has in my life). I have people in my life that I can call when I become aware of a piece of shame that I don't know what to do with. I may cognitively know that shame comes from an untrue place, but often I don't know how to "feel" differently about it.
People are often carry shame with the thought that it will help motivate them, but this also is an untruth. Shame is NEVER motivating, it is paralyzing!! Healthy, true guilt and taking responsibility can be helpful, but the shame part, no, never helpful! This part of our mortal journey (finding and stripping away shame, while holding more truth about our identity) is one of the most difficult, as well as one of the most rewarding. Everytime we find and are able to release some degree of shame we are filled with greater truth and greater light.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Addiction to unpleasant emotional states?
We have learned more about the brain in the last 15-20 years than in all previous years combined! Technology now allows us to scan and study the brain in a way most of us never imagined (luckily a few people imagined it, and then made it possible...thanks!), and this "new" brain research has opened up the realm of understanding around addiction. What's interesting is that very similar things are going on in the brain of someone who has panic attacks, OCD, addiction to drugs, pornography, etc. Now, this isn't to say that each drug is alike. For example, there are different consequences (physical, social, etc.) of addiction to anxiety vs. addiction to alcohol. Nevertheless, in addiction the brain is using each drug for a similar purpose. Our coping mechanisms (including addictions) are strategies used to deal with suffering, discomfort, fear, abandonment and pain.
Much of what happens when the cravings for our drug, or for our coping mechanisms, pop up is subconscious and pre-conscious. Clients will sometimes come in and say something like, "I had a lapse this last week," or "I experienced some days of depression." They may then describe their confusion..."I don't know what happened. It was a good day and then suddenly"....whatever they struggle with hit them. Clients begin to experience greater healing as they increase their awareness of what's going on underneath the cravings, triggers, and emotional overwhelm (these things don't come from nowhere).
While our addictions, including our addictions to emotions, change our brain and create "sickness" (meaning our physcial brain can't function the same way it would if it were healthy) there is hope for change and healing and joy. The brain is considered neuroplastic which means it can change. And it does. I have people say to me things like, "you work with addictions? That must be hard, I hear there's not much change in that line of work." Wrong! I see change in my office everyday. Healing the brain is not a fast fix experience, but it is one of the most rewarding, joyful, sacred experiences we each can go through in our life.
Much of what happens when the cravings for our drug, or for our coping mechanisms, pop up is subconscious and pre-conscious. Clients will sometimes come in and say something like, "I had a lapse this last week," or "I experienced some days of depression." They may then describe their confusion..."I don't know what happened. It was a good day and then suddenly"....whatever they struggle with hit them. Clients begin to experience greater healing as they increase their awareness of what's going on underneath the cravings, triggers, and emotional overwhelm (these things don't come from nowhere).
While our addictions, including our addictions to emotions, change our brain and create "sickness" (meaning our physcial brain can't function the same way it would if it were healthy) there is hope for change and healing and joy. The brain is considered neuroplastic which means it can change. And it does. I have people say to me things like, "you work with addictions? That must be hard, I hear there's not much change in that line of work." Wrong! I see change in my office everyday. Healing the brain is not a fast fix experience, but it is one of the most rewarding, joyful, sacred experiences we each can go through in our life.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Within
"You, the richest person in the world, have been laboring and struggling endlessly, not understnading that you already possess all that you seek." _The Lotus Sutra
So, if this is true, which I believe it is. Why do we sometimes feel so stuck, so at a loss for how to get out of the anger, the depression, the unhealthy relationship, the anxiety...etc. While I believe we all have our answers within us, I also believe that those answers get covered up by pain, self-criticism, distractions, unawareness, and simple unknowing.
One of the things that can help us to find answers is our body. Friedrich Nietzsche said, "There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophies."
The practice: Begin noticing your gut, quite literally...begin noticing your stomach area. Start by taking 1 min. each day this week to simply breath, close your eyes, let go of thoughts, and just notice the stomach. As you breath, notice its movement. Notice any tightness or looseness, notice any parts of the stomach that feel heavy or light. If there is any tightness, any spots of heaviness, if it feels blah or grayish (and you don't have the flu) ask yourself, "what am I believing or thinking about myself in this moment." What I have found is that the gut always communicates to us when we're believing something untrue about ourself. For example, I forget to call a friend back, I remember the next week and think, "Ah, I'm a bad friend." This is an untrue belief because even though I didn't remember to call my friend, and even though I may have hurt her feelings, I'm not a bad friend. My gut would tighten up if I were carrying this belief or thought. As you take time to practice moments of concentrated effort in this you may begin to notice your stomach speaking more often, not because it wasn't speaking before, but because you were unaware. I will talk more about body work in future posts, as the body is one of the best ways to better understand ourself.
So, if this is true, which I believe it is. Why do we sometimes feel so stuck, so at a loss for how to get out of the anger, the depression, the unhealthy relationship, the anxiety...etc. While I believe we all have our answers within us, I also believe that those answers get covered up by pain, self-criticism, distractions, unawareness, and simple unknowing.
One of the things that can help us to find answers is our body. Friedrich Nietzsche said, "There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophies."
The practice: Begin noticing your gut, quite literally...begin noticing your stomach area. Start by taking 1 min. each day this week to simply breath, close your eyes, let go of thoughts, and just notice the stomach. As you breath, notice its movement. Notice any tightness or looseness, notice any parts of the stomach that feel heavy or light. If there is any tightness, any spots of heaviness, if it feels blah or grayish (and you don't have the flu) ask yourself, "what am I believing or thinking about myself in this moment." What I have found is that the gut always communicates to us when we're believing something untrue about ourself. For example, I forget to call a friend back, I remember the next week and think, "Ah, I'm a bad friend." This is an untrue belief because even though I didn't remember to call my friend, and even though I may have hurt her feelings, I'm not a bad friend. My gut would tighten up if I were carrying this belief or thought. As you take time to practice moments of concentrated effort in this you may begin to notice your stomach speaking more often, not because it wasn't speaking before, but because you were unaware. I will talk more about body work in future posts, as the body is one of the best ways to better understand ourself.
Monday, July 19, 2010
What are problems?
"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." -Robert Schuller
Problems are a voice. They are those things that tell us something is amiss. Something in us is hurting, we have suffered some level of trauma, there is a foreign invader etc. It's the same thing physically. When we are sick it is a sign that either our immune system is unable to function correctly (perhaps because we haven't been sleeping as needed, eating well, we're stressed, etc.) and/or because there is a foreign invader that's more powerful than our immune system- whether strong or weak, such as a virus or bacteria.
We often become aware of a problem, and feel some amount of distress. For example, I may notice myself reacting to something with anxiety and think, "Oh, why do I always get so anxious, this isn't that big of a deal, I need to get rid of this anxiety, etc., etc. My client may find out her son is addicted to pornography and think, "Oh, no we've got to get rid of this addiction." While it makes perfect sense that we want to remove the problem, it is helpful to recognize that these "problems" are signs that something needs attending to. Once we are able to understand the source of our negative cycles, addictions, problems (call them what you will), and begin healing at the source, the undesired behaviors or emotional reactions naturally take care of themselves. Once we've done the mortal response, of panicking, to a problem, practice the awareness that this problem is a sign of something deeper, it's not who I am, and begin to search for resources that will help you to gain access to what's going on under the problem. We can than be grateful for our problems. They have helped us to better understand ourselves, and what we truly need.
Problems are a voice. They are those things that tell us something is amiss. Something in us is hurting, we have suffered some level of trauma, there is a foreign invader etc. It's the same thing physically. When we are sick it is a sign that either our immune system is unable to function correctly (perhaps because we haven't been sleeping as needed, eating well, we're stressed, etc.) and/or because there is a foreign invader that's more powerful than our immune system- whether strong or weak, such as a virus or bacteria.
We often become aware of a problem, and feel some amount of distress. For example, I may notice myself reacting to something with anxiety and think, "Oh, why do I always get so anxious, this isn't that big of a deal, I need to get rid of this anxiety, etc., etc. My client may find out her son is addicted to pornography and think, "Oh, no we've got to get rid of this addiction." While it makes perfect sense that we want to remove the problem, it is helpful to recognize that these "problems" are signs that something needs attending to. Once we are able to understand the source of our negative cycles, addictions, problems (call them what you will), and begin healing at the source, the undesired behaviors or emotional reactions naturally take care of themselves. Once we've done the mortal response, of panicking, to a problem, practice the awareness that this problem is a sign of something deeper, it's not who I am, and begin to search for resources that will help you to gain access to what's going on under the problem. We can than be grateful for our problems. They have helped us to better understand ourselves, and what we truly need.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Hello!
I'm so excited to be here, right now, today, starting this blog. It's strangely nostalgic to be moving into this part of my journey. While it's the beginning of a new experience (building up my private practice, this blog, etc.) it's also the closing of some past experiences. As I look forward with wonder onto a path which I can only follow a little ways with my eyes (beyond that is unknown territory), I feel a sense of gratitude for what's behind me. While I'm grateful for the learning gained, the good books that were recommended, the schooling, the work experiences...I'm especially grateful for the connections formed and felt with truth seekers, mentors, teachers, clients (who also fit into the teacher category as they have been among my greatest teachers), true friends, and my own true self. My perception of healing has shifted and transformed over the last few years and that is why I'm here. I want to share some of the ah-hah's, the confusions, the questions, and the answers that have brought me and my clients to where we each stand on our path today. I hope this blog will provide helpful insights and resources. Please feel free to comment with questions or email me at the email listed. I currently work in private practice in Sandy, UT (near Salt Lake City), and offer web-cam sessions for those who cannot come into the office due to distance or other circumstances.
What is the difference between a Marriage & Family Therapist and other kinds of counselors?
This was one of the first questions I asked as I explored options for graduate work and a career move. I met with Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW) and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists (LMFT) to discuss the different disciplines. Other counselors include: Psychologists and Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC). The last agency I worked for had all four diciplines housed together, so I was able to get a better picture of the similarities & differences between them. Here's what I've seen, heard, & experienced: In the agency I worked for all four types of counselors worked with the different client groups. For example, as a Marriage & Family Therapist I worked with individuals, couples, and families. The LCSWs, Psychologist, and LPC also worked with individuals, couples, and families. While different types of counselors may work with different kinds of clients groups there are some distinctions in training and therapist preferences. As a Marriage & Family Therapist I was trained in "systems." This means that when someone comes in with a "problem" I find it most helpful to take a holistic view of what's happening and rather than looking at the isolated "problem" alone, take into account other factors that influence and are affected by the struggle. That means, if an individual comes in for help with depression, I see that client's own self as a system (which includes a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual body). I find it most helpful to address the cycles, and the influences of the different parts of the self as they pertain to the issue presented. I also assess the influences and effects of larger systems, such as the marital system, family system, etc. Systemic training also adds an important dimension of understanding when working with a couple or members of a family. This holistice and comprehensive view of "problems" was what drew me to Marriage & Family Therapy. The more I do this work, the more I am convinced that true healing comes not from simply getting rid of the "symptoms," such as depression, anxiety, addictions, relational problems, etc., but comes from addressing the deeper, underlying experiences that feed the symptomatic cycles. If there are more specific questions on this topic please feel free to comment or email (jennymorrowcounseling@gmail.com).
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